Seeking

4.9.12.

Screaming loud, I strain my vocal chords to get your attention.
Your footsteps leave trails through the snow leading me to where you’ve hidden.
This game is exhausting and lonely.
My continuous seeking turns up empty time after time.

White knuckled, clenching the last of what is already lost.
Solitude has never felt so sick.
I can’t let this door close; my world of isolation held an exception for you.
Without you, there is no me.

The winding trail leads me deeper and deeper.
Darkness surrounds me, and oppression is heavy on my chest.
I desire relief; long for an answer that I know will never come.
I can see the door closing, but I can’t allow that to happen.

Frantically I search for what I want.
For love, a mystery that we’ll never fully grasp.
I thought you’d be my wings.
To carry me through this midnight hour.
Showing me out of the forest, and into the fields.
Where we’d reunite in an embrace filled with joy.

Straining my vocal chords, I stand defeated.
Eyes glistening wet with the realization.
Somehow, I knew all along, that I’d lose this game,
Despite how well I played. Despite that I tried, you were never fully committed.
Locking this door with certainty in your ways,
and I’ve lost the will to find the key.